VIRGINIA Part 74

Once you are both in front of the judge, you may be asked to participate in mediation (also called alternative dispute resolution). If you are afraid of the other parent, or there is a history of family abuse, you can ask the judge to skip the mediation step.*  See What is mediation and who pays for it? for a detailed explanation of mediation.  If you do reach an agreement through mediation, the judge will review it and then it will become a court order, unless the court finds that the agreement will not be in the best interests of the child.